I Am His and He is Mine

So....I don't actually feel like blogging right now.  But, I want to keep things current for you.

Two weeks ago, I had to make a very hard decision.  The decision to follow God wholeheartedly and step out in obedience and in faith.  God told me that it was time to end something that was very near and dear and close to my heart.  I had to let go of something I loved so much, I didn't know how I could live without it.  With everything in my being I wanted to fight it, and not do what He urged me to.  Even so, I did it.  It was very hard but, it was right.  In return I received peace and a settled spirit that just would not come from anything else, but thats not the least of it.  The most amazing thing is that, in the midst of my broken heart's troubles, he spoke to me.  He pulled me out of the pit and called me by name, He spoke to me and said "Halei, let's go."  So i'm following right now and He just won't stop talking.  Which as precious as it is, sometimes it's hard to handle so much at once.

  I will tell you about somethings God has revealed to me in this time. I'm supposed to be a missionary right now so I'm going to Mexico this week, then possibly Peru over Christmas, and Honduras next summer.  Exciting right?!?!?!  I know :) Also, I recently I had to cut my hair.  It was dry and dead and the ends were split and would keep splitting upward if I didn't cut it.  Now, my hair looks healthy and fresh and sassy and bold.  God gave me an illustration based on my haircut.  Right now, I'm in a new season of my life.  I'm cutting out everything in my life that is unhealthy.  I'm getting rid of everything thats not breathed by Him and allowing myself to heal, so that I can have a more wonderful, vibrant, and full life.  I had to cut off my unhealthy hair that was damaged from lots of styling without any protection and in the same fashion, I have to cut off the parts of my life that are damaged and broken from the living I did without any covering or protection so that my heart can be whole and perfect again.
 

  Now, I told you I was following and it's hard.  Remember when I posted that blog about the Brook Fraiser Ligertwood???  About that song Like Incense/Sometimes by Step.  It has become my prayer.  I didn't understand the significance that song would hold in my life but, I get it now.  "Please still my anxious urge toward rebellion, let love keep my will upon it's knees."  As a young child I frequently engaged in what my Mom affectionately calls,  a battle of the wills, where I would struggle and struggle with her about doing what I wanted to.  I would fight her tooth and nail, with vigor and strength than is rarely seen in a toddler...and toddlers possess quite a bit of those two.  I would have temper tantrums that lasted for 3-4 hours over simple things.  Non-stop screaming and wailing because I didn't get my way.  It got to the point where they would have to put me in my room and let me scream it out.  I would throw my toys and pull the drawers out of my dresser so they had to lock all my things in the closet.  Just me and my bed for hours screaming because I needed to get my way.  Praise God they left me in there, otherwise I'm pretty sure I would have become some sort of delinquent.  Anyways, eventually they subsided and I began to realize that no matter what my parents would always win.  Why?  Because their will was stronger.  Currently I'm reliving my toddler days and engaging in a battle of the wills with God.  If I don't back down, I'm pretty sure he is going to put me in my room for hours by myself until I'm done screaming.  I don't want to go to my room so, I'm fighting with God against my own will in order to do what is best for me.  Unfortunately I haven't stood up to my will in quite some time, so it's grown to a monstrous size.  So be praying for me as I slay the dragon.

(I know this bloggity blog is somewhat all over the place....Are you following so far? haha)

  The last thing before I wanted to share before I left you all was something that i saw and heard on Owl City's blog this morning,   Just go read and listen.  http://owlcityblog.com/2010/10/25/my-hope-is-found/
You'll be ever so glad you did.  Also, if you want to save that awesome lil song to your computer go to this link:http://owlcityblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/In-Christ-Alone.mp3 and right click and click the save as option.  Then you'll have it as an MP3 and you can put it on your ipod, or make it a cd, or do whatever you want with it :)

Love love love love love you sooooo much whoever you are thats reading this,
Halei the Sassy